Around Chicks😒

In my head it’s like this....
Every time I am around a chick
With me it’s either hit or miss
Whether I’m happy or consistent.
Some bullshit always seems to happen.
Like I don’t appreciate her enough
Or I’m down on some really bad luck.
It matters if she is there right ?
To help support me through this mental fight.
I’m not the only one.
I have my fair share of mistakes I’ve done.
To them I’m the one is draining
My mood is like it always raining
Grey clouds and all that.
Chest hurts feels like an heart attack.
I am only human but not enough for you.
Not consistent to see it through.
You leave at the worst of times.
Finding someone else at the drop of a dime.
Then you wonder why I don’t smile.
Why I am not heard from in a while.
I am learning, unifying the communication.
It’s hard for me to do in this generation.
Where loyalty means nothing
Where people always getting into something.
Here I am in the middle of it.
I’m getting too old for this shit.

What makes me happy ?

Cards , video games and bubble tea ?
All those things...
Genuinely make me happy.😊
A Blue sky with no clouds at all
In a grassy field playing kickball
Optimism is high with no chance to fall.👍
Why should I fall, I’ve come so far.
Waited till I was 29 to enter the bar.
That’s pretty funny 😂
My Birthday is coming.
What am I going to do?
Have no clue😑
Gotta find my black and converse shoes.
Have to put my best foot forward and not look back.
Not dwell on the past.
That’s that.
Cause I am still here.
Never been the norm, stay being weird.😎
Not stopping now not even for fear.
Thankful for God for always being near.
Always grateful for him looking out.
Showing me the signs to never doubt.
To let him show what I am really about.
A man who has fallen down and now stands.
Someone who is kind and understands.
Even if a person can’t see what I am.
Remember who I was , who I am....😁

Trying to find what I need

You look at my face and see sadness.
In my head all around me nothing but madness,
God reminding me that there is happiness.
Why can’t see it
Knowing I can’t take it for granted
What this is.
To me happiness is me flying across the sky.
Making my way toward cloud 9.
There is no limits and no wondering why.
Boy I wish it could be like that all the time.
Yea that would be fine.
Making these lines rhyme,
Gives me purpose, a form of clarity.
What I do isn’t a stunt or for charity.
Just take the time to read words
At least I know, I would have been heard.
I hope these works of mine have make you think.
Never take your eyes of the prize: Happiness
It can be gone before you know it, so don’t blink.

P.o.v : Solitude

Solitude
A point of view
No one around, what else is new.
Stuck inside my head.
My feelings are dead
Rumbling stomach cause I got no bread.
I hate feeling like this.
Being baited out like fish
No warm embrace, just a cold wet kiss.
What is Love ?
A gift from the heavens above.
Yet all I want is a meaningful hug.
I can’t even get that.
On the defense from all these attacks.
Trying to understand the facts.
Trying not to get too attached.
 I’m not normal, why can’t I be understood ?
Always with the answer but never any help
I wish a nigga would.
Seriously....
feel myself slipping away
Holding on struggling through out the day
Opening my mouth, I really wanna say.
Everything will be okay.

What’s human love ?

Human love,
does it mean anything more?
 To Tell someone you like them and they walk out the door.
They leave prematurely not even knowing what’s in store.
The future is a funny thing.
Like the seasons,  it’s always changing.
Try to change, doesn’t work and then comes the blaming.
Blaming it on time , person or a place.
It’s always done low-key ,never to your face.
 Didn’t even know that I was in a race.
Trying not to be left behind.
Heading out to claim what’s mine.
Making the effort , taking the time to find.
The heart I buried so long ago.
It’s still and it is cold.
One day it won’t be and that’s what matters.
Until that day, Gotta make sure it doesn’t shatter.

Pick ya head up

Holding my head up when I feel low.
It seems hard, no matter where I go.
Looking at the cold hard ground.
Staying silent not making any sound.
Whoa, there are so many paths
Which one leads to the right track?
I have a long way to go, that’s a fact.
It’s hard to say
I don’t know the way.
All I have to guide me is God above.
To full realize his mercy and his love.
I have to see this life through.
Even if it’s too much to be true.
What people may say about me.
That’s I am uninteresting  or that I’m Weak.
At the end of the day I am human being.
There is only so much I can take.
I’m going to make mistakes.
Those mistakes will make me stronger in the end.
What I need to for those who read this is to understand.
There is room for improvement but don’t try to change me.
There’s a reason for everything.
I am me and that’s all I can be.

My place in this place of existence

Existing in this plane of existence.
Trying to stay consistent.
These thoughts that are going through my head.
Why am I going down instead ?
Up is where I need to be.
Each day just being me.
Not enough to say I made it there.
Still taking it all, it’s not fair.
Judgment and silence.
It’s stay there until it turns to violence.
My words are like arrows that pierce the target.
Yet, that is not my intention.
Praying for that divine intervention.
I need you.
Lord above ,tell me what I need to do.
Let me stand my ground when they come.
Let me record my time here till I’m done.
As long as I’m here.
As long as you’re able to hear.
I am me and that’s not going to change.
Only to improve and to maintain.

This story of mine called life.


Speak up Homie

When you gotta a problem speak up.
When people don’t want to be around you, wish them luck.
People aren’t always going to understand.
You are only doing what you can.
Right fam.
Keep yourself from laying there and settling
It can be quite annoying
People are going to do what they want to.
Here is a question. What are you going to do ?
Either you can stay the same
Or
You Can make the change.
The world keeps on spinning.
It’s only temporary, this stressful thing.
You never know what the next day may bring.

Inside my head #1

I believe that I am not worth it to no one.
That’s my problem, I feel like I would better if I am just gone.
Gone from this world and into the unknown .
Alone
That’s how I feel when I am on my own.
I don’t know how to calmly express
My distress
It’s such as mess.
My mind
Throughout time
I believe nothing was mine
Nothing except my life.
I wanted peace instead I got strife.
I wanted to know why.
Why am I here ?
I should take this time to think and reach out to God
He is near.
Unlike the world that I am in.
I should start with him.
Let him show me what I am missing out on.
Before my time is done and I am gone.