What it sounds like for real....

If only I could communicate.
If only I could relate.
It wouldn’t be so awkward for me.
I could get things done easily.
The way it is right now I only should be worrying for is myself.
I am looking out for my health.
I’m eating and I have clothes on my back.
I have games to play and at the same time anxiety attacks.
Anxiety from what you say ?
These negative thoughts that persist day after day.
Like my body , I need a strong support system.
It’s is necessary that I take my vitamins.
What am I missing ?
Oh I know the answer to that one.
Too bad it is all gone .
I’m not even sure there is a way to get it all back in the end.
Quarantine definetly lets you know who’s your friend.
I have to be my own best friend
I have to be there when I wake up from nightmares
I have to tell myself at times life can be unfair.
Have to keep my balance so I don’t fall down the stairs.
The thing is I’m asking myself beside me , does anyone even care .
I understand y’all have things on your mind.
Can only respond when you have time.
If you remember to that is, if you don’t that fine .
Just don’t wait too long or else it will be too late.
Tomorrow isn’t promised to anyone, even these days.
For those of y’all who read what I write down.
You know how this sounds.
Yes at times life can turn around.
I just got see that.
I have  to believe that.
Can’t just say it....
I have to mean that .

C-virus Poem

Hey it’s me , I really don’t mean to complain.
Yeah I know to me people what I go through is insane.
But it’s worse for those families who have members dying all the same.
I’m not going to say it’s all about me.
The picture is bigger. It’s all about destiny.
What am I going to do with mine?
Only a matter of time.
I won’t say I’m fine.
I would rather say that i am ok.
Just hear what I have to say .
I want to get through this day.
Getting through with pressure in my chest.
Sure I do eat but I hardly get any rest.
During the day or at night.
Within me is an internal fight.
Yes I would like to talk about something nice.
However, it is not the reality that we live in.
We just need this virus to die down that way everyone wins.
C-virus equal quarantine.
Social Distancing
Overspending.
Constant Drinking.
It’s a lot to handle and even more to process calmly.
I have to though.
I just have to...

Talking out of turn.

The more I read the more I learn.
When I write this , it may feel like I am talking out of turn.
When everything is internalize it’s hard to figure a person out.
They can smile in your face but there is clearly is doubt.
If you are angry or sad or even happy then share it with me.
That’s all I asked because I have opened myself to you without hesitation.
You were the scary one and i loved you still.
Just getting through that was due to a strong will.
All this quarantine creates is frustration.
I have been mad with myself a lot of the time.
Hence, the lines and the rhymes.
A temporary measure to ease the pain.
These days it’s either in pain or being insane.
I choose neither of the two.
After all when I write, I’m still thinking of you.
How much of me you see and it’s clearly nothing but negativity.
Anxiety.....
There is plenty of it but I have to deal with mine alone.
As it is now, that’s the way it’s got to be.

No it’s not because you’re gone that started to feel this way.

Loving you and all that that’s been there even today.

That’s really it because what else can I say.

I’m sorry that it didn’t work out and I could be what you needed me to be.

I couldn’t even make you happy.

To be honest, happiness is something I never really understood.

Not because of you. Not because of anything really. Just never could.