Drunken master writes 4 or is it 5....?

Drunken Master back with another one.
I’m no DJ Khaled, I’m trying to get this done.
What I write down.
Taking time to read how it sounds.
I get mad and throw it all way.
I keep telling myself it’s not what I want to say.
What do I want  is for you to the read of this poem.
 Inside their home.
Trying to understand where I am going with this.
Forget it , I forgot. I can’t take no more of this shit.
This selective way of thinking.
Choosing when to stop blinking.
So I don’t miss a thing.
It doesn’t really feel like spring.
Spring feel very all over the place.
Cold air then warm following by rain to the face .
On this 3rd can.
Try to understand.
I had a meltdown and I feel low at this particular time.
If you have the time to read these lines that rhyme,
Then please check up me on me.
Please....😓
No I’m not weak.
Oh because I drink.
People do weed for the same reason.
Same time different season.
You can’t Judge me for what I do .
Nope that’s why we have mirrors for. Look at you.
Look at your own flaws and shit before you come at me.
Please...😭
 I look at the photos of those who came before.
Before they walked out the door.
There were smiles then.
Now we are the end.
Of this poem I mean.
I Can’t sleep . I can’t even dream.
God I ask you, help out the drunken master....
Please....😓😭😓💀